For instance, one might mention not feeling hungry for a sweet dish, when during that time, the spoon has already worked its way up from the dish to the mouth. However, the reason behind kids so recurrently saying the total converse of not only what they actually imply but also what they desire or require is quite baffling.
A small girl who after attending her best buddy’s party was all chatty and praises about the party she just attended, wakes up the following morning announcing that parties are silly and would rather stay back home.
However, this does not imply that children are out to get their parents. Inconsistent or paradoxical behavioral patterns alike these mostly occur due to a clash in between the child’s sentiments and his wants, but have not evolved a means of expressing either of them as yet. As parents, one’s key task must be to decode such sentiments and requirements and in helping them to vocalize them.
The widely prevailing ways kids tend to interrupt themselves, and what can parents do to tide over these hassles:
The bushed but hyper kinds :
When kid’s bodies yearn for respite, they might sense soaring adrenaline levels to recompense for it. A disturbance in their normal schedule could escalate matters. The remedy to this energy outburst is not to delay sleep times to later in order to adjust it – as a matter of fact, the kid would require to be put to bed sooner. Hence, it is crucial to adhere to a fixed time-table irrespective of the level of alertness the child might be exhibiting. Children tend to blossom on structure, in spite of always showing resistance to it. An idyllic bed time schedule would allow the body to decipher that it is time to unwind.
It is quite common to notice children after engaging in a stimulating activity just do not want to get into bed and are constantly assuring their parents that they are not weary. As beyond a doubt, the child is dog-tired, hence the best antidote would be to simply pretend to not pay heed to their gripes and go on with the regular sleep schedules by kissing them goodnight and exiting the room. The child would soon fall asleep in no time.
The weariness factor could elicit a major meltdown when a drained out child plainly can’t seem to identify when to renounce activities and unwind. When an attempt is made to put a stop to their activities, such high-propane kids are not likely to take it too well, breaking down, yelling, crying and at times, the nastiest tantrums are bound to ensue that can’t be curtailed for quite some time.
A way to neutralize this outburst is to be empathetic and unruffled. One needs to address the child in a firm yet assenting manner that this flare-up has to end and that you would help in stopping it. Mention the emotion the child might be undergoing and address it in your conversation. The child in most situations is bound to pick up some of the Zen-similar quietude that the parent would exhibit during that time. Once the flare-up has mellowed, one could speak to the child about the terms that could be used for describing feelings that could be employed in the future.
Children are bound to resist sitting down for a meal as that would translate to halting some other activity they were doing that seemed more interesting to them. So, rather that stating ‘Oh, Momma, I really want to watch the last part of this television show, now’, the child would in most likelihood say ‘Spaghetti?! I hate spaghetti!’ It is lame excuse as you could totally comprehend it is not true. However tempting it might seem to remind your kid regarding the previous seven times she gorged on chicken and simply adored it- one needs to take the highway. By clearing pointing at the watch and courteously telling her that its time for dinner would mostly do the trick. Kids thrive on inexorableness, and a regularly timed dinner helps in circumventing the annoying dispute over if they are or not famished. And if the child announces that she’s full after only a couple of nibbles, so be it. The child would most probably cover for the missed calories during the course of the subsequent meal or snacking.
Despite the fact that family experts lay emphasis on the significance of the entire family sitting down together during meal times, majority of the children aren’t particularly thrilled about this aspect as it implies remaining seated, munching food without opening your mouth –kin dining could be tricky and tough for the child. Many kids would seem to find most appealing things than food, often stating that they are not famished or not liking what they’ve been offered. Often a lot inveigling and at times total drama is what is needed for the food to be finally eaten up.
In spite of these endeavors, if the child is still desisting from joining the family on the table one could try this trick. If the whining and discounting others continues, the child could be offered a seemingly less desirable option like ‘if he’s too exhausted to have a meal with us and would opt for resting alone in his room’. Surely he would like to be around people than be alone and would rather opt to join others at the table. Hence, the prudent pointer here is to offer the child the chance in deciding on his own what would be in his top interests.
One needs to note that physical signals of hunger and dehydration are mostly ignored or unidentified by small infants. They depend on the parents and caretakers to provide their victuals and beverages prior to the pangs becoming increasingly overpowering. A routine needs to be established in case of family meals as pre-planned snacking not only ensures the kid is replenished but also foils the careless ingestion of food and sugary beverages which could interfere with the kid’s appetite for more noshing food.
A number of children are guarded or sluggish in warming up to others – a disposition that could surface as soon as infanthood. A baby that creates a ruckus when approached by anyone except their parents, a tot that mulishly refutes to come out of the buggy, or a preschool-going kid who holds back when his schoolmates are out at play might be saying in hushed tones that he is not yet prepared for this.
Such kids feel overpowered by stimulus like views, resonances, sounds and commotion. They could also get apprehensive in the most harmless, kid-play settings. What truly confuses parents is the kid’s illogical reaction to what assures to be a grand time. The shift would become more hassle-free if one talks to them in detail regarding what was planned for them.
Few children bewilder their parents when their valiant declarations and thoughts paint an image of a kid set and keen for new-fangled thrill, however all that utterance is actually a plucky endeavor to throttle rising apprehensions. A kid’s clashing responses to an awaited occasion might also be due to lack of precise understanding on what it is all about.
Behaving like little monsters to a dear pal :
Kids crave for companionship; they yearn for play dates, however they are inept at deciphering the way in which friendships work. Snubbing to play along does not indicate that the kid is standoffish. The child might not be that mature to comprehend that the way in which she would act would have an influence on the manner in which the other kid would feel. At times a verbal coaching might be necessary to make the child understand this delicate aspect.
For instance during the play date, if one’s child simply becomes aloof and stops playing with a pal, one needs to excuse oneself out from this situation and in private tell the child ‘We could wait for sometime before going back’. However, it might surely appear quite uncouth to leave a small visitor alone in the play area whilst one’s kid leaves the room. Nonetheless, children have mighty hearts and even better, have transient memory spans. So, there are strong chances that by the end of the play date, they would have even lost track of their prior separation.
Though play dates are a fun concept, for some kids it is difficult adjusting to the fact of having a visitor in their homes. Many kids don’t like the concept of sharing, or expressing that they are feeling shy or would not like the guest to handle their belongings. Kids often don’t know how to decipher their sentiments and least of all are inept at verbalizing them.
A viable trick that just might work is to initiate some activity like cookie-making, carrying out art & craft tasks – mostly aids in circumventing the child’s thorny response to another kid company. After this hurdle has been overcome, then children tend to readily share and co-operate with one another. Figuring out the appropriate time periods when the kid is likely to be at his most desirable behavior – like subsequent to napping or after meal times – is the idyllic times to set aside for play dates.
A significant amount of endeavoring, practicing and insight is required in identification and articulation of merely the most fundamental needs. In case of kids, this is undeniably a hard nut to crack. And much alike adults, kids too could be pros at self-trickery and defiance. At times, it is distraction while at other occasions it is getting overwhelmed by the situation, but the gist of it is that they just quite a bit of assistance from our end.